Cate and I got a bus, the 160 that used to run from Catford to Sidcup, we got off the bus near where I used to live, on the south circular, which was near where it used to go, but slightly off route. We got off the bus and all the shops were exactly as I remembered, as we walked down the road (which was a major street for traffic) we came across a fruit orchard, trees of apples, plums, gooseberries and more, I kept trying to take photos of the fruit and Cate kept getting in the way saying 'stop that! Take a picture of me!√Æ As we wandered through the forest we came across a normal looking house, although there was no indication of being so, we instantly knew it was a tourist attraction and went inside.
We walked down a hallway and found it fascinating how authentic the house was, there was a dummy of an old lady in one room so when we entered another room upstairs I thought there was another dummy so cheekily waved at it, I was shocked when it answered back, it turned out there was an old couple in the room. We sat down with the couple and were amazed how realistic they were, I showed Cate the view from the window, which was of a typical English winter scene, there were Christmas cards and Christmas TV was on.
At some point Cate left the room with the old lady and I was left with the old man and someone else, a middle aged Australian man, maybe my cousin. He was asking the old man for directions but was referring to a Melways (A Melbourne Street Directory) and I kept saying, 'that's no use were in London, and I know where we are anyway'. I got fed up with the situation so went to find Cate, at this point I realised I had been naked for the whole conversation, it didn't seem to have bothered anyone but I thought it was time I put them back on. When I was trying to find Cate she seemed to have become the same person as the old lady as I kept shouting 'Nan' and 'Cate' interchangeably. They both reappeared eventually and the old couple kissed which I thought was cute but suddenly I switched viewpoint to Cate's and witnessed a gruesome domestic violence, the old man was beating the lady with a hammer. So we hurried out of the house and suddenly we both became Richard and hyacinth from 'keeping up appearances√Æ, panically entering their familiar car and hyacinth was frantically kissing Richard, repeating his name over and over again, happy to know that he would never do that to her.
Then I see the bucket's next-door neighbours walking down the same forest, past the same house but they don't go inside. Emit discovers a massive human sized rabbit warren, he looks inside announcing that there is a DIY wine cellar, so they continue walking.
At this point I am myself again and arrive in a clearing, which I know to be Hampton court even though I know it isn't. There are four large buildings either side of a very large clearing. In the distance I see Cameron (The singer from a band called 'Baseball', I had been writing a review of them) coming towards me, dressed in tight Jeans, vest and pink leg warmers, I know what he is planning and about to do. As he comes toward us (me and some unknown people) police start to appear and come towards us, he starts doing gymnastics and we encircle him to prevent the police stopping him, we all move together as he moves, the police give up and join in, everyone is clapping and laughing as am I, then I wake up.